Well in the later light of a harsher day, I'm not sure that it is one of my better songs, but I still like it a lot. I like that I wrote it in under an hour from scratch. I like the way it features five major chords and no minor chords. I like the overall flow - driving in the verses, then it goes plaintive in the refrains. I find the segue and the refrain itself to be quite beautiful as sung.
But parts of the verse itself seem clunky or disjointed, and the lyrics - I think certain lines are great, but overall they could use maybe some work. Indeed, I've already got a third verse's worth of alternate versions working on half the lines. So yeah, some work still needed, perhaps. Or leave as is, and add a third verse.
In any case, not a bad fifty minutes' work! And half of that screwing around with chords.
But parts of the verse itself seem clunky or disjointed, and the lyrics - I think certain lines are great, but overall they could use maybe some work. Indeed, I've already got a third verse's worth of alternate versions working on half the lines. So yeah, some work still needed, perhaps. Or leave as is, and add a third verse.
In any case, not a bad fifty minutes' work! And half of that screwing around with chords.
Comments