Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Talkin' Sweet #6: Some Serious S.

I just realized why I trust you so much. It's because I would forgive you for anything.

I make a big noise about how it would crush me to be cheated upon and yeah, of course it would. What a sore point! Of course it would. It's the one thing I don't think I could ever forgive anyone, except...well, that's what I always said about it. But for you. For you I would. I would have to.

And admitting that, suddenly I realize how silly and unserious my fears really are! Because, you would never do that to me. Only when I realize I'd forgive you if you did, did I suddenly let go of the worry. That's as dumb as hell, inasmuch as it'd never have happened either way! But I'm dumb as hell, I guess. I can laugh at it now.

You're honest, but lots of people are honest. I'm honest. A dog is honest. Probably.

You're beautiful, too. Oh my Lord, your beauty. There is no more spectacular view than you. Best angle: less than a yard apart, going in for a kiss. Well. Maybe, that's the second-best angle.

You are beautiful. But your beauty, even together with your essential goodness of character, cannot be the whole story. How were you born so good for me? How do you take pieces of me that never fit together before, and suddenly with you in my life, everything fits?

I don't believe in guardian angels incarnate in flesh, who took pity on a dude before he was born and made a pact with the heavenly powers to forsake their haloes and come down to walk beside me, love me and carry us both through together. I don't believe in that, or I'd possibly accuse you of it. But still.

Why did I never realize how thoroughly certain parts of my life did not work? Until you. I'm either unobservant on a scale I'd never have previously believed, or...maybe it's just that you brought the revelation in with you. Maybe there were things in my life that could never have worked without you, and so there was no way I'd be able to see how they could work, without you. My eyes had not yet been opened.

It all works.

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