Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Tough Topics #10: Perspectives On Divinity, Vis-a-Vis Butt-Sex

I really wish collective Christian America would gets its collective head out of its collective ass when it comes to issues surrounding gay sexuality, and to hear these guys tell it, there are a lot of them. To me, there's only one issue surrounding gay sexuality, at least in terms of a Christian perspective: and it's this: if some gay dude ends up in hell for butt-sex, that's God's problem and not yours. Butt all the way out. I'd even say it's God's fault, if that happens. I blame God, if that happens! If some dude goes to hell for that, then I say God has to step up and take responsibility for that shit, because God is the one who done it. "Oh, you did what with your pooper? Aw, well I didn't really design it for that. Burn in hell." Shit!

Don't give me Old Testament. I've read the Old Testament, and let me tell you, God in there was a shithead. If the Old Testament depiction of God is accurate, I can only surmise that prior to coming down and walking among us, feeling it all the way through flesh and blood, looking out with human eyes from a human brain and feeling for the first time what limitation was (a completely voluntary, self-chosen limitation, but limitation nonetheless!)...I can only surmise that that little experience might have opened the ol' infinite eyes a bit. Because prior to that, God was to all appearances a hysterically seething neurotic, foaming at the mouth and thundering death threats and petty vendettas based on whose ox gored who, or whether someone was on the rag at the wrong time, or if someone cussed out their pops, or "did you properly wash your hands?" Yes, prior to incarnation, God was infinite and in possession of all knowledge. And then upon becoming incarnate, God had an immediate and direct experience of what it was like not to be infinite.

That sounds like a real pivotal event in one's life to me! Even if one's life is infinite. People say God never changes, but something sure changed! Because once God became fragile flesh and walked among us, suddenly you ask Him and He's like, "oh, no, bump all that old-school shit. Just love God and try to be good to one another other." So I'd say, yeah. Maybe the experience proved worthwhile for someone besides us. And maybe it might be a good idea to obey that dictate, especially those of you who claim to be of the obedient persuasion: bump all that old school shit. God said so.

It has been fulfilled. We can abide by every old taboo if we want to, but it's not as if God gives a shit. That shit is elective. We can cut our dick-tips off if we want to. But if that ever was a pressing concern in God's is no longer. You, me, the guy down the street, the lady across the way - we are all of us under no obligation to heed Old Testament taboos.

That's good news, people. Most of those things were crazy. The judgenuts only pick out the one gay one out of the whole bunch and say, "oh, well this one still sticks, because gross-a-roo!" If they seriously think their personal heebie jeebie gives them full biblical override to pick and choose which parts of Mosaic law were oh-pardon-me not fulfilled in Christ, well...I just hope they don't mind all the giggling from the back of the room, where the cool theologians sit in the Grace of God. We're not judgin' ya!

Now having said all that, I'll level with you. I know I threw it out up there, and I tried to give it a game attempt, but I really don't know about this idea that God changed, since the Old Testament days. It's one possibility - the idea that God just used to be a shithead, back before taking the big J.C. plunge. But there's another possibility, less dramatic, that I suspect might be a bit more on-target. That would be the possibility that most of the Old Testament portion of the bible was written during a time when the people writing it were, by and large, superstitious taboo-obsessed control freaks and fabulists.

That's possible too.

And so maybe just maybe it wasn't God who was in fact the shithead, as depicted. It's possible the depiction was distorted. Distorted just a wee pinch! It's possible that it was in fact those doing the depicting, who were the shitheads. But either way, it is the same difference. Either way, that Old Testament shit got flushed 2,000 years ago. If it had a purpose, in incubating the Chosen Nation, to serve as the cradle for Christ or whatever dashing hypothesis - whatever its purpose, that purpose got served the second Christ stepped on the scene and point-blank said so. It has been fulfilled.

Brethren. Let us hold fulfilled what was fulfilled in Christ. Let us not reject and dishonor Christ's sacrifice, by scorning his fulfilled Law and instead picking and choosing from amongst ancient taboos - which to discard, and which to use when we see fit to stand in for God and judge another's soul. See fit to stand in for God?

You are not fit.

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