This post is a special post. It is a special place to honor those who have read my whole, entire blog. If you're one of those people, you can leave a comment here and tell me: what did you think about my whole, entire blog? And please, do begin your comment with the phrase "I Have Read Your Whole, Entire Blog, And..."
But ONLY if you are one of those people! One of those select few who can indeed make that a truthful statement! Otherwise, don't comment here (on this post)! Comment elsewhere, until you've finished staking your claim to being deserving of the accolade due to those who truly do deserve to post a comment on this post, which has been set up specifically to honor them.
Please don't toy with me. Don't post in the comments of this post unless you really did read my whole, entire blog. I don't want anybody to pretend and then lie about it. You don't need to butter me up, baste me with chicken gravy and slide me on a baking pan - limbs and loose parts tied in tight with butcher's twine - into an oven preheated to 350 degrees. I would rather just take the straight truth than some lie. I would rather have someone give it to me straight than stab me in the back.
I would rather somebody tell me one sweet, golden truth that makes it all worthwhile, than have that person grab and pull my hair so hard that strands pull loose at the roots, as they kick me repeatedly in the knee and shins, and viciously stomp my insteps. I would rather have to simply deal with the silence that honestly says: no one has read your whole, entire blog. Better that, than to have the humiliation of being chased down and beaten to a bleeding pulp by a Catholic high school girls field hockey team, even though I'd take a few of them down in the course of the losing effort, plus I'd know they only beat me because there were like fifteen of them and they all had those wicked sticks.
The plain truth. That's what I'd rather have. Even a hard truth is better than the alternative.
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