This doesn't even SOUND like him, but there's something about the inflection or something that really works well regardless!
"I'm transmitting from the earth's core...I'm trapped on this planet without my crew, without my ship...I've taken some sort of a psychedelic-plant deal, couldn't be avoided...now I'm lying on my back trying to get a circumcision"
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Steal it Alice, even the score! I've certainly swiped a few from you. As I understand it, that's how it all works on this damn internet thing.