Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Philadelphia Is Important

Philadelphia is a pretty major city. It's been there for a long time, and a lot of people have heard about it, and now I just want to come right out and add my voice to that same general chorus. This post is about Philadelphia.

Some people go there for the Liberty Bell. That's dead on. Go anywhere else for that, you're wasting your time. Some people go there for the beer. It's a big center for beer, as I've been informed by a man very knowledgeable in such things, my buddy: Seanibus. Otherwise I wouldn't have known to say that, but it's a true, interesting fact. So thanks for that one, Seany my lad! Feel free to steal whatever facts I may have lying around for your use, long as I get a proper attribution out of it naturally.

People talk about what kind of a sports town Philadelphia is, and it's true. Another thing Philly is known for is their regional delicacies. One is the soft pretzel. This is usually served hot by dudes who don't look up to health department inspection standards. One time on the way out of a concert at the Spectrum, one of these guys secured my sale with a simple rhyme touting the value of his hot, salty wares: "What the fuck, it's only a buck!" I was sold. It was the first time I'd heard that one, and for me at least, it immediately shot right up there with the then-regionally-ubiquitous pizza delivery box slogan "You've tried the rest - now try the best." In subsequent years I would find myself wondering, "why didn't that 'fuck/buck' one catch on more?" I decided it was due to two factors: 1. Hampered by the self-limiting price cap. 2. The fucking profanity.

The other regional delicacy Philly is most hailed for is the "Philly Cheese Steak." Steer clear of these, I will fight you for them and that's a bad move if you're you. The key to the excellence of both the true Philly Cheese Steak and the excellent Italian sub in the general Philly/South Jersey region is the roll. It is called "Italian bread." This is not french bread, it is not a baguette. It is Italian bread. You can only get this particular kind of bread from a few major bakeries in greater Philadelphia, who supply the tri-state area. And so, subs elsewhere in the nation fall flat at the foundational level (and screw it up further from there). You haven't had one, trust me. You don't know what a sub is. Go to hell.

I read somewhere that the key to the mystique for these bakeries is the unique mineral content of the water from the Schuylkill River. I suspect "mineral content" is a euphemism. Are you familiar with the Schuylkill River? It was named for the last guy to try to take a swim in it, back in the 1800s. His name was Schuyl.

Man, I thought this post was going to be tiny, but I'm chock full of facts at my fingertips when it comes to the hows, whys, whats and wherefores of the Great State of Philadelphia.

Keep it coming, Philly! Brotherly love is just the start.

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