Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Deathly Allergic

It's a good thing I'm not deathly allergic to peanuts, because I eat peanut butter all the time! Just last night I had a half-sleeve of Ritzes, each cracker dolloped high with good ol' peanut butter.

I could easily have died.


Shandle said...

That is like my favorite snack ever!

TimT said...

Good point! Come to think of it, it's a good thing I'm not allergic to chocolate bars, chips, soft drink, and coffee, because that's probably what I'm going to be eating all day. And tomorrow. And the day after that. Thanks!

dogimo said...

@Shanty - isn't it the best? For a weird twist this time, I got the Roasted Vegetable Ritz. Made with REAL VEGETABLES. It's kinda delightful!

@TimT - huh. It is a good point, isn't it? Good point!

GunGrave TZA said...

I have a peanut allergy.

F**k you. xD

dogimo said...

Hm. Two ways to go on that "xD", interp-wise! It could be referencing the second part only, or the whole thing. In a case like that, why sweat the guesses - I just give the straight answer to both. That's America-style! Just like that poem by Delmore Schwartz. "Both," said Jeremiah Dickson. "I will have them Both."

So. There's 2 Ways to go. And I will go BOTH:

Way 1. Interpret the "xD" as "I do indeed have a peanut allergy, however, I am kidding about the f**k you."

Holy damn, dude, I hate to hear it and I can't imagine how you cope. I guess you just do: no choice but. Because like I said in the post up there, wow, I just love peanuts all the time. No way do I take it for granted in the slightest! I can't imagine folks who not only have to do without - but who do so on basically, a threat of death! Hard core stuff, mah man. My sympathy's yours. I hope the complete absence of peanuts has opened the way for you to focus on and appreciate other things more keenly, that can more than make up for it.

Way 2. Interpret the "xD" as "I'm kidding about the whole post. I don't have a peanut allergy, OR a f**k you!"

Dude. I don't mean to be a lump or a prude or a killjoy or anything, but isn't that a little insensitive? I would never kid about having a peanut allergy. Those people go through life living without peanuts, and for the worst of them it's like a death sentence for some damn factory is all "this package processed in a nuts facility" and can you imagine? The f**k you part was totally funny, but I'd encourage some compassion on these poor folks with peanut allergies!

I don't understand how they cope with it. Holy cow. I'd be dead by now, I swear.

I can't figure which is worse, that or the bee sting one.

I am going to go draw a picture about sad bees and peanuts.