Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Once You Start Making Up Your Own Chuck Norris Jokes, It's Hard to Stop Pt.2

Chuck Norris flips pancakes with his bare hands.

The Surgeon General put a warning put on Chuck Norris. It says WARNING: CHUCK NORRIS.

Chuck Norris is not aware of any Chuck Norris "jokes."

Chuck Norris drinks his coffee with whatever you put in it when you mistakenly thought it was your coffee.

Chuck Norris is the reason no one can find Waldo.

Chuck Norris makes Ritz mocka apple pie using real apples.

Chuck Norris is partnering with Google to develop the world's first Search-and-Destroy Engine.

Five-Star Generals call Chuck Norris "sir."

Chuck Norris only lied once. The truth quietly apologized for being wrong.

The real reason Nostradamus stopped predicting things is he looked into the future and Chuck Norris told him to knock it off.

Chuck Norris does jello shots using a 12 gauge.

Chuck Norris doesn't flip a coin, he just calls it. If the coin's wrong, it flips itself.

Chuck Norris chews his food with his tongue.

Chuck Norris graduated high school in kindergarten.

A lot of people think the "Chuck" in Chuck Norris is short for "Charles." Actually it is short for Chuckles.

The solution to the weak U.S. Dollar? Ditch George Washington. Substitute Chuck Norris.

Jesus Christ accepts Chuck Norris as his personal savior.

Chuck Norris isn't larger-than-life. Life just tends to slouch a little when Chuck walks by.

After Paul Simon met Chuck Norris, he rewrote that song to reflect there's really only one sure way to leave your lover: introduce her to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's ugly little secret is that he is secretly a Chuck Norris supremacist.

Chuck Norris can make a delicious burrito out of a tortilla and a head of lettuce.

When Chuck Norris signs an autograph, his penmanship is exquisite.

Chuck Norris contributes in a low-profile way to a number of deserving charities.

Hmmm. Okay. I think I've got it pretty well petered-out.

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