Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Friday, September 16, 2011


So picture this. I walk to the break-area kitchen sink and dump my big cupful of yesterday's water, when suddenly my eyes drift down and I see that the big, round drain is postively clogged and filled with long, whitish-gray, writhing, waggling maggots! Freakishly long, yellowish-whitish gray worms, like elongated maggots of some kind that I've never seen before or heard of - except far more smooth and writhing than segmented and wriggling. My torso pitched forward involuntarily and I instantly puked, of course - a big vomitus of grape nuts and milk, all out in one go. I don't think I can be blamed for that. Anyone would. Thankfully, all but the tips of the very longest worms were now obscured by this new deposit. Mouth sour, my breath heaving, hands gripping the fake formica, knuckles white, I stared down into the sink with an expression on my face like a cross between a rictus of horror and the hugest, saddest pout imaginable. As I turned the faucet handle to flush it all away, I noticed it was ramen noodles. Still, my own contribution had by then made the sink at least disgusting enough to self-justify its presence, as far as I was concerned. Albeit, that logic contains within it a subtle causality violation, but who cares. Niceties of logic, links of sophistry! Who cares. In a world like this, where one can be confronted without warning by such rude, queasy horrors - who cares!

And get it straight: I don't want to hear any commenters whining "oooooooo I just ate" okay? The title of the post is OH GOD THAT WAS DISGUSTING. That's a mumblefussin' hint, peoples.


Mel said...

The entire sink's gone rotten!

dogimo said...

I love ya, Mel. You know ah do.