Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Friday, October 07, 2011

Franchise Reboot to End All Franchise Reboots

Well I say, heck with updating all these "small potatoes" franchises. Your James Bond Reborns, your Bruce Wayne Yet Agains, your Spock Spocks Up The Mother-Spockin' Time Continuums, your Teenage Godzilla Vs. Some Umpteenth Next Best World-Ending Threat...! For gosh sakes, what are we diddling around for with all these also-rans? Get your guts in order and set your sights where they ougtta! Ditch the remix albums of middling hits, and skip straight to the all-time chart-topping numero uno.

The Bible.

Boo yeah.

Did I hear somebody say "biggest bestseller of all time"? Oh yes! And by FAR.

Did I hear somebody mention, "single most theatrically-adapted book of all time"? Well, duh! I think that Mel Gibson movie a few years back pushed it over the top. Although wait, there could be one Japanese samurai-type epic that they've made like, 200+ films out of. I heard something about that. Not sure those really count, could be they were "made for tv" films. Well, leave that one aside for the record-keepers, for the time being. Pending confirmation: IT'S THE BIBLE.

You think Jedi Redux is going to get people feeling the force? How about a fresh young new hot take on JESUS CHRIST, set in today's day and age? And what about hitting us up with the PREQUELS as well - at the SAME TIME?

Coming to theaters near you, next year:



Call Peter Jackson. Treat it right, this thing can run forever.

1 comment:

dogimo said...

Man, I mean number one by far. Richard Dawkins, I love ya but your God Delusion doesn't even come close.

It's gaining strong enough, though! Might as well see if we can snap up the rights on that baby while we're at it. Nobody said blockbusters can't aim for balance.