So, a rapist, a racist and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says "get the fuck out of here! I can't make anything funny out of this situation!"
So. An alligator walks into a bar. This is a different bar. It's in Florida I guess. Anyway, the patrons all jump up on the bar, on the tables, screaming - the bartender calls animal control and says "There's a goddamn alligator in my bar! Send somebody quick!" All the patrons sit tight while the 'gator sort of plods and swooshes around the floor area. After what seems like a long time, animal control pulls up with a screech and a couple guys come running in with a noose-pole and other 'gator-wrangling accoutrements. The bartender asks them "What took you so long? Is that how you react when an alligator walks into a bar?" The animal control guy says, "We were trying to think of a punchline!"
So, a um. A...um...a biblical literalist walks into a bar where the bartender is a theoretical physicist. The theoretical physicist bartender asks the biblical literalist "What'll you have?" The biblical literalist says, "Glenlivet and soda, rocks, splash of bitters." The theoretical physicist bartender says: "Coming up!" The biblical literalist asks the bartender, "Say, what's a theoretical physicist doing tending bar?" He...he...
Damn dudes. These things are really hard to make up!
I don't know how people do it.