More Racially, Ethnically, or Otherwise Offensive Fast Food Menu Items

We're all familiar with the low, rumbling furor over Dairy Queen's "MooLatte" (a fine product, by the way - shame). But what about these other offensively-named menu items? Why has no alarm been raised?

• "Big Mac" - clearly some sort of obscure slur upon the Scots, as if to say, "You Scots! Big you are, maybe, but you have a useless layer of flavorless bread in the middle, and a predilection for freaky pink sauce!"

• The "Whopper" - originally named the "Wopper," in tribute to its popularity within the Italian-American community.

• "Papa Burger" - this is just sexist. A Papa Burger but no Mama Burger? Apparently A&W used to have a Mama Burger. But I guess they bowed to the forces of the pressures of our current dominant non-traditional family paradigm and gave Mama the heave-ho. Leaving a nation of burger lovers motherless. Burger-wise, at least.

• Wendy's "Chicken Temptations" - "temptations" is salacious enough. But when you consider that "chicken" is slang for "prostitute" in Cantonese, that's a one-two punch of FILTH! Plus as if that weren't bad enough, the "Frosty" used to be called the "Stiffy." At least, that's what we used to call it. It's so stiff! Too thick for a straw. It's like...the milkshake that eats like a meal.

• "Green Beans" - I kid you not. "Green Beans." At KFC, this is considered a "side." That's got to be more offensive than any 3 of these others combined.