Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Monday, May 25, 2009

Burger What?

I was trying to think of a good, generic name for a burger joint. Never mind why. But they're TAKEN! I mean, I knew Burger Shack, Burger Hut, Burger Barn were taken. Burger House. Burger Haus. Burger Stop. Burger Shop (and Shoppe). But it keeps going and going! ALL THESE have been taken:

Burger Castle (didn't White Castle sue?)
Burger Circus (these guys better not have a clown...)
Burger Palace (...ditto, a King)
Burger Place
Burger Station
Burger Factory
Burger Bunker
Burger Zone
Burger Box
Burger Chef
Burger Hall
Burger Room

Even Burger Joint is taken!

Which leaves us with some unsettlingly vague options:
Burger Building
Burger Destination
Burger Home
Burger Abode
Burger Area
Burger Location
Burger Locality
Burger Locale
Burger Region
Burger Setting
Burger Environment
Burger Situation
Burger Locus
Burger Relative Coordinate System


Hm. Some of those are getting a bit too abstract. Yet others falute perhaps a bit too high for what I was going for:
Burger Realm
Burger Domain
Burger Dominion
Burger Empire
Burger Protectorate
Burger Embassy


Maybe the emphasis on a place is misplaced. We could just go with:
Burger Premium
Burger Bounty
Burger Find
Burger Reward
Burger Prize
Burger Bonus


Although, now it sounds like giving away free food. Maybe go with a name that calls forth a more specific, particular place. I'm not sure these would be believable:
Burger Laboratory (or Burger Lab)
Burger Institute
Burger Asylum
Burger Clinic
Burger Terminal


I don't know. It's a lot of choices, but, still seems like all the good ones are taken. I kind of like "Burger Situation" - but nobody would buy it! No one would ever believe that someone could get a loan and open up a joint to call it "Burger Situation." What would it be, some sort of participatory deconstruction of the modernist fast food experience? MAN! I would so go there!!

But no one would believe it, as a functioning restaurant.

Burger Abode, now, that has possibilities.

Burger Embassy might be a funny one - featuring the brightly-dressed burgers "of many nations"! No diplomatic immunity for them, though. They are to be consumed.

Never mind that that's kind of the reverse of what an embassy is.

5 comments:

Deese said...

Does it have to start with the word 'Burger'? You get a lot more options.

dogimo said...

That's true. I think that despite my attempts at a non-place-focused name, I was really wanting the name to invoke the restaurant and not necessarily the food itself (like "Good Burger" or "Tasty Burger"). But within that, you might have some options with burger last.

El Placo De Burger, perhaps.

OOH!! "Burger First!" A hint of activism.

Still, that's not invoking the restaurant, more invoking its manifesto.

Anonymous said...

Burger Bastion maybe.

It could have turrets, and a mote, …. We could install a jukebox!

Slogan could be Burger Bastion: The Last Stronghold Against Hunger

It could go global. Burger Bastion: Fortifying the World Against Famine.

Bob Geldof could get involved, We could have Burger Aid concerts around the world.

Mel/Pc

dogimo said...

Burger Bastion is nice! Like it!

And it's a natural tie-in for The Never-Ending Story. Perhaps there could be various meals named after various characters, and if you "eat in" you get: "The Never-Ending Soft Drink."

I never saw either of those movies, but they've penetrated the cultural consciousness to an extent to where I feel confident making pop cultural references based solely on osmosis.

dogimo said...

Burger Dystopia