Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Friday, October 30, 2009

My Spooky to Filmmakers Aspiring Assignment Pt.3: And the Winner Is! Nectar Of The Creeps

We here at Consider Your Ass Kicked! are pleased and proud to at long last announce the winner of this year's Spooky Movie Contest!

BIG WARNING! This movie I am about to embed into my unsuspecting blog has been subtitled "A Horror Film." As such, I would suggest that it is intended for the faint of neither heart nor mind. It contains images calculated to disturb. As if that weren't enough, there is fiddlin'.

It is therefore with completely inadequate ado that I bring you Nectar Of The Creeps, the winning entry in this year's Consider Your Ass Kicked! Spooky Movie Contest!

Nectar Of The Creeps is the work of seasoned budding auteur Lunarchick of SkyBluePink, who is hereby awarded the Distinguished Palm of the Judge and Jury Special Selection Committee.

Which brings up a certain awkwardness of situationality, vis-a-vis the presentation of the Distinguished Palm. Ordinarily the Distinguished Palm is presented in the form of a handshake (most people choose the handshake option - by far more distinguished than the other presentation options!). But as it has no doubt occurred to me by now, that's hardly practical in this case! Because - the internet. The internet makes it impractical. Yet another case of the internet complicating what should be simple. But that's me: technophobe. I blame the internet for everything, even global warming and the high cost of beer.

So for the time being, Alice, please accept my hearty accolades and assurances that you are indeed the recipient of the award, with all the pomp and half the circumstances of any comparable award. The presentation is pretty much a formality! Look at it like getting the Academy Award for Best Oscar: you are still the winner, even if for some reason you are (for example) in Baltimore, and so you can't stand there on stage, up in front of the whole world getting the orchestral bum's-rush halfway through everyone you wanted to thank.

I just hope to God you thanked me at least. I'd be a little peeved.

But leave all that aside. Me getting thanked or not would not diminish the accomplishment one bit! Congratulations, and I salute you. I for one look forward to following your career as a movie-maker with keen interest!


Lunarchick said...

So it's true?? Really really true!? I thought it might be like one of those elaborate "joke's on you idiot" type shows with me as the subject.

I can't believe I won. I am so not a winner type. Guess I can't say THAT anymore huh?

I wasn't sure if the subtly horrific nature of "Nectar of the Creeps" would be understood. If the slow burn horror would be understood as the commentary that it is on the horrific nature, the darkness,that exists in all of us.I mean this is deep stuff. The fiddling is the give away.

I am sorry that I am unable to be there in person to accept the Distinguished Palm of the judge (after careful deliberation I did indeed choose the handshake option) but I would like to thank my muse on this project dogimo/Joe. If it weren't for him there would not have been a Nectar of the Creeps. I must also thank the Judge and Jury Special Selection Committee for their vote of confidence. I thank my wonderful husband who put up with many angst ridden hours with me during this project.And of course my fans. Without you I am nothing. I am humbled by your adoration. You all complete me.

Thank you one and all.I hope my next film can live up to your undoubtedly high expectations.

dogimo said...

That was a lovely speech! Fool me worrying about logistics - this all worked out perfectly! In retrospect, everything seems so preordained.

Small clarification: I comprise the entirety of the Judge and Jury Special Selection Committee. But I'm glad of the mixup - I got to get thanked twice!

On behalf of that sentiment, I want to say thank you, Lunarchick! And my thanks to all who entered!

Something to be wary of, though: with the longer lead time, and with your example to set the inspiration, you may find you've created a far more crowded field to compete against in next year's contest!