Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Friday, January 08, 2010

Always the Diplomat, I Manage to Calm Things Down

This was just too much. I couldn't believe the nerve on display here. So I took it to a level that I just about never do: "Do you want to FIGHT?" I asked, belligerently.

His defiant response was knee-jerk, instantaneous: "I'll fight you!" Eyes suddenly glaring, teeth - almost bared.

"I didn't ask that. I said do you want to fight?"

An exchange of momentary pauses and blank, angry looks.

"Come on, this isn't a matter to be decided by apathy. Do you want to fight or not? We don't need to see two dudes mewling all noncommittal, 'well, I'll fight if you want to fight...' We're not discussing which restaurant I'm taking you to dinner here! We're talking about settling things with our FISTS. Now do you or don't you!?"

His face contorted in weird look. No response, then sullenly, suspiciously: "What the fuck are you talking about."

"I'm talking about do you want to fight, or do you not want to fight? I myself don't give a shit!"

"I don't give a shit either!"

"Fine then it's settled!" I declaimed with a calm sense of triumph, the triumph of reason over rampant brawn. I find most things can be settled without resorting to violence.

We ended up at the IHOP.


¡Z! said...

What the fuck are you talking about you weak moron?


Mel said...

Halfway through this I was all ready to come to your assistance, The Educator flying... turns out you didn't need help.

Well done!

Sarah said...

Well, she must not have been a very pretty girl, I suppose.

¡Z! said...

this frickin' page is still up?


dogimo said...

@Z! - such language!

@Mel - I'm one smooth talking ambassador for diplomacy. Almost typo'd "diplomancy" - like it's a dark art.

@Sarah P - that stinks! You're a 100% right, I should have used the opportunity to imply that. I could easily have avoided those "His"es!

@Z! - much better.

dogimo said...

@Z! - also, apologies for chiding you in the first place! I mistook you for my YOUNG NEICE. Neice. Niece. NIECE.

Lunarchick said...

MMmmm pancakes....

dogimo said...

Got to bring your own syrup, though - pure maple. They haven't got the good stuff.