Ejecting faeces from my body when I'm done with them is just one of the many ways I keep the natural systems and functions of my body running smoothly.
(Hey, did you notice how much classier it is when you spell it with that extra "a"? Oddly, this doesn't work for all words: "aasshole")
There are all sorts of other things I do as well:
Carbon dioxide could build up to toxic levels in my body. So I gather it up and transport it with my bloodstream, and then I expel it through my lungs. I try to do this where plants are nearby - my waste carbon dioxide is like food made out of air for them! This is the reason why people say talking to your plants is good, even though objectively, it ought to be crazy-behavior. The benefit to the plant world outweighs the human social stigma!
Even though our society says you have to be on-the-go, all-the-time, I like to take time out for sleep - generally every day, I try to sneak in between 5 and 16 hours of sleep. Why? Well, I like to use a metaphor to describe that: I'm "recharging the batteries." And what happens to a battery if you don't recharge it? That's right. You throw it out.
These are all common, sense-based tips and observations. No hard science or mumbo-jumbo from me! But I hasten to add, for those of you who would like to dig deeper, for every one of these tips, there is a wealth of proven information available on the internet. The internet is a vast resource for your health information and wellness strategy needs. There's good information all over it, so if you're interested and/or skeptical, look it up yourself!
Don't take my word for it.
9 comments:
I like your fancy spelling and "sneaking" in 16 hours of sleep.
Thank you, jules!
It can be a trick sometimes, to sneak that in. But boy, is it worth it when you can pull it off!
So, I’ve sat down this morning to read the net, when unsuspectingly I am assailed with “Ejecting faeces from my body”. So unprepared was I that I’ve said out loud “shit Joe!” whilst having a full mouthful of breakfast. Result: WeetBix on keyboard (and the realisation that “Shit Joe!” is a pretty, what?, literal?, ironic? reaction to have)
Then I hover over the hyperlink in the post. Result: more WeetBix on computer. (By the way, if you were wondering, the dude in the silver lycra one-piece, I think he’s supposed to be a wizard, is called Wizzy – this show is all kinds of wrong)
So, anyway, lesson for today. Pine O’ Clean is awesome for removing cereal from keyboards.
Also, you are right; an extra “A” is classier. Weet A Bix … much better.
I'm sorry to hear about your predicament, Mel! I certainly am sorry to have contibuted to the loss of any portion of so healthy a breakfast. Scheduling time-appropriate posts can be a challenge, given the various times all over the world when different cultures and continents choose to break their fast.
But while I am sorry, and while I do regret your misfortune, I regret even more the fact that I cannot apologize for the post. I have to stand by my bright-line stance, and if necessary, back it up with a lot of hot rhetoric on cold, hard principles.
Because some things are bigger than even Weet A Bix. In life, and especially when it comes to health matters, we have to deal unflinchingly with a lot of frank talk on important topics. The human body is not something any of us can afford to tiptoe around, possible exception: ballerinas.
Jeez, Mel. I am sorry about the Weet A Bix! Was there a halved pear involved? Did the pear come out of it ok?
Apart from having been halved, I mean.
No need to apologise at all. The sliver of pear escaped in tact (well, until I ate it!). I take alternate bites: one spoon of WeetBix, one spoon of pear, one spoon of WeetBix, one spoon of pear… wait, that makes me sound like Rain Man.
Anyway, I feel bad that my request for “smartassery” got you in trouble with the Label Goons, so it’s cool. We’re cool :-)
And no, you are right, we cannot tip toe around these issues. Although, most of the time I have no choice. It occurred to me last night I spend most of my standing life on tip toes. A the bar last night, getting the drinks, on tip toes, I don’t even bother to let my heels touch the ground while the bardie gets the change because I know I just have to go back up to reach across to get it. And don’t get me started on trying to get the last sock out of a top loading washing machine. Tip toes don’t cut it, I have to clamber in.
"WeetBix" or "Weet A Bix," Mel. Pick one and stick with it.
I swear, I'm having my doubts about this whole "Australian" shtick. Let me find out you're some kind of Ohioan whose just been stringing me along...whoo boy! "Kittredge...you've never seen me 'very upset.'"
("WINKY SMILEY")
;-|
Oh, definately Australian. I just had Vegemite on toast. I know of no other nationality, race, ethnic minority or majority group who can stomach the stuff. It has to be in your DNA.
It's just confusing because it is called WeetBix here.
http://www.weetbix.com.au/
Apparently it's Australia's favo(u)rite cereal. Bold claim.
Ah, I see! My apologies. Your only inclusion of the "A" was to illustrate the "extra a = classier" rule. Weird that in this case the added vowel goes to the American version. Usually it runs the other way.
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