Only a million bucks for a 30-second spot? Sweet! If I win like, 50 mil in the lottery, I will spring for one of those. Definitely!
I'd just be on screen, in a richly-upholstered red leather armchair, maybe in front of some eye-blazing custom-made CGI effects (gotta do it up right, right? Superbowl commercial!) and I'd be like,
I'd just be on screen, in a richly-upholstered red leather armchair, maybe in front of some eye-blazing custom-made CGI effects (gotta do it up right, right? Superbowl commercial!) and I'd be like,
Me: "Hi, my name's Joe [ Xxxxxxxx ]. I have no product or service to sell you. That's why you can trust me."[ camera-angle switch, with slight but meaningful pause as I turn to look into the new camera ]
Me: "A lot of people told me I could not follow my dreams, but I proved them wrong. I kept on the path that I had planned hard for, for success. I kept on buying those tickets, week in, week out, and my hard work and dedication paid off: I won fifty million dollars in the California Mega-State Big Ball Lottery. So that's why I'm here to tell you: never let anyone tell you not to follow your dream. Dream Big. Win Big. The California Mega-State Big Ball Lottery."I may have to say all that really fast. I'm not springing for a second thirty seconds! Those lottery punks can fund their own dang ad, at that point.
Comments
Maybe I could just make my ad one big awesome grimy scene of me in fatigues, running and climbing over obstacles and fighting through impossible yet realistically-depicted odds over a soundtrack of maximum-shred kick-ass martial thump-rock. It would look just like a Marines recruitment ad!
Except at the end (foes vanquished), I'd stand alone on the rocky pinnacle, turn my grim eyes on the audience and say - "No you can't join up. Only I get to be THIS awesome."
But really, I'd think anyone was frivolously foolish to do something like that, especially with only a 50 million dollar win. You wouldn't be getting anywhere near that with the cash payout (the only sensible choice). You'd maybe end up with $20 million after taxes and stuff. And with the economy the way it is, I'd keep my eye on that money. At the very least, give a million to charity! Not to a TV network. :P
Really, the only reason I'm going to give so damn much to charities is because I feel it will expiate the guilt of my frivolous excesses. I mean, I'd plan to give like 10 million dollars to charity. In your face, charity.
I wouldn't even claim it on the taxes. I'd just be like: in your face, government. I'll pay you full pop! To me, you're just another charity! GOV.ORG!
There are probably worse inconveniences then winning the lottery. But if a blessing brings more trouble than the blessing is worth - get rid of it, I say.