The U.S.A. is the bulwark that stands right smack at the crossroads of what the modern world is and can become, if only the world could swallow its pride and follow the signpost that we leave behind in our wide wake. It's not too late for the rest of the world, to join in on the wild hayride of democracy, and score a sweet slice of our hot apple pie while they're at it!
Should other countries chuck up all their crazy-ass traditions and adopt our Constitution, swallow it whole? WHY NOT! It worked for us! I say we quit trying to invade other countries. Just stop doing that entirely. It only makes them more dependent on us, when they should be following our example instead of taking the easy way out by being ground under its heel. We shouldn't invade any of these countries, unless they first adopt our own sweet Constitutional ways! Until they "buy in", all of our military aid and invasion-based assistance should be withheld. It's a hard stance, it's a touch stance, but it's what the Presidents would do. Let's look down that long line of stalwart men, and see what lessons they have to teach us. Look at their smart suits, becoming ever more archaic in style as the line recedes into the dim distance of the past. Look at some of those crazy dudes at the end! Some of the 'stache, beard and/or hairstyles - whoo! Is that a coonskin cap?
This is the sort of tradition that the many peoples of other countries of the world need to step up and hew to, if they think they can climb out of their own mess the same way we did ours! For indeed, for us, it was The Presidents whose bright example lit the way! And so can they do for the rest of you poor, bedraggled, benighted foreigners. You don't have to send us your huddled masses. We can show you how to whip them into shape, right there where they are, huddled on your own old-world (and/or third world), historic (and/or steeped in valuable alternative culture) shores! You just need a wake-up call, mired as you are in traditions of various Un-American sorts.
And to you readers who may be America Herself: Let's face it! Let's face it ourselves, because surely the rest of the world needs to! Our system of thought and practice based on freedom and liberty is the ONLY system that will work in the end. It's the only system that other nations should even be allowed to practice, if they expect to have us come in there bailing their ass out with a full-scale military invasion. What good does it do us to come charging in, lavishing them with our expensive military equipment and troops, just so they can continue to go about their misguided business in some outmoded way that we've already long since proved doesn't work for us? Forget it! We need to withhold that invasion-based aid until they're on board with the example.
The example of the Very Presidents Themselves.
America! God bless it long and hard! Sing ye, Washington! Sing ye, Jefferson! Adams, Lincoln, Polk - their names stride and strut down that fabled lane of history reserved for Presidents Only. They look down back at us from a misty vantage, stretching out their sepulchral hands in a gesture that says, "come on. I'll help show you the way."
It's time for us to stop hogging that Presidential example all to ourselves - it's time for the other nations of the world to heed that same call.
Should other countries chuck up all their crazy-ass traditions and adopt our Constitution, swallow it whole? WHY NOT! It worked for us! I say we quit trying to invade other countries. Just stop doing that entirely. It only makes them more dependent on us, when they should be following our example instead of taking the easy way out by being ground under its heel. We shouldn't invade any of these countries, unless they first adopt our own sweet Constitutional ways! Until they "buy in", all of our military aid and invasion-based assistance should be withheld. It's a hard stance, it's a touch stance, but it's what the Presidents would do. Let's look down that long line of stalwart men, and see what lessons they have to teach us. Look at their smart suits, becoming ever more archaic in style as the line recedes into the dim distance of the past. Look at some of those crazy dudes at the end! Some of the 'stache, beard and/or hairstyles - whoo! Is that a coonskin cap?
This is the sort of tradition that the many peoples of other countries of the world need to step up and hew to, if they think they can climb out of their own mess the same way we did ours! For indeed, for us, it was The Presidents whose bright example lit the way! And so can they do for the rest of you poor, bedraggled, benighted foreigners. You don't have to send us your huddled masses. We can show you how to whip them into shape, right there where they are, huddled on your own old-world (and/or third world), historic (and/or steeped in valuable alternative culture) shores! You just need a wake-up call, mired as you are in traditions of various Un-American sorts.
And to you readers who may be America Herself: Let's face it! Let's face it ourselves, because surely the rest of the world needs to! Our system of thought and practice based on freedom and liberty is the ONLY system that will work in the end. It's the only system that other nations should even be allowed to practice, if they expect to have us come in there bailing their ass out with a full-scale military invasion. What good does it do us to come charging in, lavishing them with our expensive military equipment and troops, just so they can continue to go about their misguided business in some outmoded way that we've already long since proved doesn't work for us? Forget it! We need to withhold that invasion-based aid until they're on board with the example.
The example of the Very Presidents Themselves.
America! God bless it long and hard! Sing ye, Washington! Sing ye, Jefferson! Adams, Lincoln, Polk - their names stride and strut down that fabled lane of history reserved for Presidents Only. They look down back at us from a misty vantage, stretching out their sepulchral hands in a gesture that says, "come on. I'll help show you the way."
It's time for us to stop hogging that Presidential example all to ourselves - it's time for the other nations of the world to heed that same call.
Comments
This new version is, I think, much better. And it is a much better fit for the theme! Presidents' Day - the one day where we step aside to honor the President in us all. It deserves a post of its own. Heavily-reworked.