Unsolicited Ad Campaigns #3: Enjoy! Coke And Christ!

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This ad campaign does not reflect the views of any corporation, brand or entity. This is a fan-made production, completely unsolicited. No prominent soft-drink brand or global religious behemoth had any input whatsoever into the development of this campaign. I have received no compensation for this campaign from either the Coca-Cola Corporation or from Jesus Christ.
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So this is the first one, the big rollout. If this goes over well, picture a whole series of installments in my forthcoming "Coca-Cola Brands: The Official Soft Drinks of Religious Belief!" mega-campaign. I'm thinking Abraham for Coke Classic, Muhammed for Coke Zero, Krishna for Coke Lime. That Mormon Guy could get Diet Coke, I guess. Maybe Buddha for Sprite, that seems fair. And on and on! So many religions and wonderful Coke products to choose from. There would be the whole lineup of the big-time heavy-hitters of religious belief, and a beverage for each! And not only a beverage for each of them - a beverage for each of their devout followers. Ahhhhhh, now that's refreshment for body and spirit.

This is an approach that hasn't been tried, but I think this kind of targeting could be pretty intriguing, results-wise.

Hey Pepsi, I haven't forgotten about you! Wait 'til you see who I've got lined up for your brands.

Hint: Darwin gets Diet Pepsi.

Comments

Sarah said…
LEGENDARY. I love the blogger full-disclosure.
dogimo said…
Gotta do it. These days, gotta do it. It's a tough regulatory climate out there for us artistes!

Thanks for the kind praise!
Mel said…
I’m telling you, if I didn’t already have a fresh Can O’ Cola open beside me right this moment, this advertisement would have compelled me to go out and get one. That’s how good it is. In fact, you know what, I am going to get another one, and have two on the go at the same timethat’s how good it is.

If the water had been turned into Coca-Cola, and not wine… just think….
dogimo said…
See, that's exactly what I'm talking about! What could be more calculated to induce a craving for the sugary corporate nectar that is Coca-Cola, than the sweet, smiling, satisfied image of Our Lord and Savior? Look how much he loves that Coke!

I defy anyone to tell me something RIGHTER THAN THAT!!

I can't see how I could possibly be the first person to hit on this pitch angle.
Mel said…
He's got no pupils. That's intense, that's conviction, that's compelling.
dogimo said…
Little-known fact: Cherry Coke turns your eyes entirely blue.

It's a miracle he can even see with no pupils.
Anonymous said…
Aren't Mormons supposed to not drink Coke as it has caffeine in it? Jesus wouldn't like it you know. Although, I understand, from you, that he thinks it's good enough for HIM.

Talking of Jesus (sort of), The Jesus and Marychain once said "If liquor tasted like Pepsi, everyone would be an alcoholic". I paraphrased but that was the gist of it. And they're right. So I think maybe Jesus is a Pepsi guy. Like myself. But without girl bits.

Also, as my eyes are already entirely blue, what will that Coke do to me? Oh wait, I have one tiny brown sliver in the left iris, maybe it would take care of that?
dogimo said…
Mormons are caffeine teetotallers? I don't think that's right. I've seen Mormons in good standing pounding iced tea after iced tea.

But there is a Caffeine-Free Coke. Perhaps Mormon could go for that. Anybody know what he looks like? How is Mormon depicted in LDS iconography? Myself, I usually leave out the second "m", but for the purposes of the campaign I'll probably go with the more traditional spelling.

Jesus is not a Pepsi drinker. I'm sorry. That's just sacrilege.
dogimo said…
I mean, I don't want to tread on sensitive areas of anyone's ideology! I know Coke vs. Pepsi can be just as contentious an issue as Faith vs. Works. So perhaps I need to just "stand down" on the inflammatory remarks!

The picture speaks, though. Look at the joy in those eyes. When you've been lying around dead in a cave for 3 days, when the angel rolls that rock away...he's not going to hand you a Pepsi to quench that thirst. I'm just saying.