Sometimes you just want a nice filet mignon, and you don't feel like cooking it. Most of the good steak places I go have a bar, and they don't mind serving you there. I just sit at the bar. Of course, sometimes, to some people, that might send an undesired message. So while I'm sitting at the bar, I scowl a lot. I just keep that scowl coming. I work it through its permutations. Pensive scowl, quizzical scowl. SCOWL OF PURE UNDIRECTED HATE!! It keeps the help hopping, and the unwanted sociables at a distance.
Of course the waitstaff already knows I tip well. It's probably more that than the scowl that keeps 'em hopping. Plus, maybe they just want to hurry up and get me out of there. I may tip well, but I'm not exactly good for business.
If anybody braves the scowl-created dead zone to strike up a conversation, I have this completely incomprehensible invented language I've been working on, that I revert to. It works much better than fake french or fake German - you can never tell who can speak what real language! Believe me, nobody can speak this language. Of course I have to be careful and pay attention - to make sure the person hasn't already witnessed me speaking English to the staff, or they'll just think I'm some kind of asshole.
Of course, I could just sit at a 2-top, and not be bothered. Nobody's going to walk right up to my table and start making small talk!
But it's more fun to sit at the bar.
Of course the waitstaff already knows I tip well. It's probably more that than the scowl that keeps 'em hopping. Plus, maybe they just want to hurry up and get me out of there. I may tip well, but I'm not exactly good for business.
If anybody braves the scowl-created dead zone to strike up a conversation, I have this completely incomprehensible invented language I've been working on, that I revert to. It works much better than fake french or fake German - you can never tell who can speak what real language! Believe me, nobody can speak this language. Of course I have to be careful and pay attention - to make sure the person hasn't already witnessed me speaking English to the staff, or they'll just think I'm some kind of asshole.
Of course, I could just sit at a 2-top, and not be bothered. Nobody's going to walk right up to my table and start making small talk!
But it's more fun to sit at the bar.
Comments
It hasn't even an alphabet!