This doesn't actually look too bad! How is it that I never even considered the obvious upsides, here? "SUCK IT, VENICE!"
Look how cute our coastal cities will be! I don't know what I was picturing - entire buildings underwater? It's only like the first or second story! Just lift the infrastructure. Sweet.
There's no way this doesn't work out to a huge near-term and long-term boon to the economy and tourism. There will be ample construction projects going - we'll need to have at least some raised bridges and walkways, and with the automobile largely shunted to the side (which is good, right guys?) in coastal metropoleis, public transit will be instant priority number RIGHT NOW. We'll see a boom in traditional options like elevated trains, to be sure - but also, expect some breakthroughs, like subway-to-submarine-way retrofits! How cool will that be. Expect an explosion in personal aquatic transport options as well, many of which are only waiting on mass demand to become widespread and affordable: urban jetskis! Aqua-pedalbikes! And for the bridge & tunnel crowd, the long-dreamt-of (and eminently doable) streetable boat.
What the heck is the deal with people, that they've been ignoring all these obvious upsides? With the pictures, it pretty much stares you in the face what we're going to do. These aren't pipe-dreams, people! Under any credible scenario you care to advance, this is what is going to happen. Except of course, in the event of a real catastrophe. Something on the order of global thermonuclear war - always a possibility. But anything short of that - come on! When the tide comes in, we rise above, turn it into a business and sell tickets. It's hard not to see how well we're going to deal with this. Come on, folks. It's humanity. We don't give a shit.
By the way - hey all you environmentalists? And naturally, I include myself in that. Could we please come off the act that any of this climate concern was for nature's sake? Because it's pretty obvious that it's not, and it never was. Save the earth? Save it for who?
It's just for us. This whole concern is just for us. It's always been. It's blatantly obvious that nothing has ever really been under threat here, except us and our widdle buildings. Meanwhile, the rest of life on earth has weathered global freeze after global melt after global freeze after global melt for ages, and going strong!
Oh sure, I guess if somebody wanted to, they could find tiny little ways to paint it as a "nature's sake" concern. "Species are going extinct!" This is about on the same level of Michael Jackson singing "There are people dyyyinnng..." Yes, Michael, there are. There are and will be. And species are going extinct. Sheesh.
Few things are more annoying than someone who fronts as "informed and concerned about nature," yet - did they miss every year of science class, from elementary all the way through high school? Did their parents excuse them with a note?! Extinction is what evolution is for.
Nope, the stakes here have only ever been a concern for the comfort, convenience, ease and familiarity of homo sapiens. Well on that front, great news! Check a look at these pictures. Not so bad at all! Gondolas everywhere! I can't wait.
Seriously, how cute is that going to be? Okay, except for a lot of dorks and losers who get all boo-hoo about things not being what they used to be. Plenty of humans don't "do" change very well (and honestly, I have to include myself in that, too). But so what? Those people will complain no matter what happens.
Overall, we're going to do fine out of this.
Look how cute our coastal cities will be! I don't know what I was picturing - entire buildings underwater? It's only like the first or second story! Just lift the infrastructure. Sweet.
There's no way this doesn't work out to a huge near-term and long-term boon to the economy and tourism. There will be ample construction projects going - we'll need to have at least some raised bridges and walkways, and with the automobile largely shunted to the side (which is good, right guys?) in coastal metropoleis, public transit will be instant priority number RIGHT NOW. We'll see a boom in traditional options like elevated trains, to be sure - but also, expect some breakthroughs, like subway-to-submarine-way retrofits! How cool will that be. Expect an explosion in personal aquatic transport options as well, many of which are only waiting on mass demand to become widespread and affordable: urban jetskis! Aqua-pedalbikes! And for the bridge & tunnel crowd, the long-dreamt-of (and eminently doable) streetable boat.
What the heck is the deal with people, that they've been ignoring all these obvious upsides? With the pictures, it pretty much stares you in the face what we're going to do. These aren't pipe-dreams, people! Under any credible scenario you care to advance, this is what is going to happen. Except of course, in the event of a real catastrophe. Something on the order of global thermonuclear war - always a possibility. But anything short of that - come on! When the tide comes in, we rise above, turn it into a business and sell tickets. It's hard not to see how well we're going to deal with this. Come on, folks. It's humanity. We don't give a shit.
By the way - hey all you environmentalists? And naturally, I include myself in that. Could we please come off the act that any of this climate concern was for nature's sake? Because it's pretty obvious that it's not, and it never was. Save the earth? Save it for who?
It's just for us. This whole concern is just for us. It's always been. It's blatantly obvious that nothing has ever really been under threat here, except us and our widdle buildings. Meanwhile, the rest of life on earth has weathered global freeze after global melt after global freeze after global melt for ages, and going strong!
Oh sure, I guess if somebody wanted to, they could find tiny little ways to paint it as a "nature's sake" concern. "Species are going extinct!" This is about on the same level of Michael Jackson singing "There are people dyyyinnng..." Yes, Michael, there are. There are and will be. And species are going extinct. Sheesh.
Few things are more annoying than someone who fronts as "informed and concerned about nature," yet - did they miss every year of science class, from elementary all the way through high school? Did their parents excuse them with a note?! Extinction is what evolution is for.
Nope, the stakes here have only ever been a concern for the comfort, convenience, ease and familiarity of homo sapiens. Well on that front, great news! Check a look at these pictures. Not so bad at all! Gondolas everywhere! I can't wait.
Seriously, how cute is that going to be? Okay, except for a lot of dorks and losers who get all boo-hoo about things not being what they used to be. Plenty of humans don't "do" change very well (and honestly, I have to include myself in that, too). But so what? Those people will complain no matter what happens.
Overall, we're going to do fine out of this.
Comments
Let's all buy a boat!
It's just for us. This whole concern is just for us. It's always been.
Interesting. I don’t feel that to be true for conservationists or most "ordinary" people, to me it seems more the realm of climate scientists.
It’s always been my impression that conservationists and most regular people couldn’t care two hoots for humanity and its survival or lack thereof. It seems to me there is little desire or concern to save the earth for our sake. As you say, we’re just a blip on the planet’s timeline. No biggie if we stay or if we go now. I’ve always had the impression that conservationists and others who are seriously concerned about climate change view humans as the enemy of nature. If humans die out or not I don’t think they mind either way, and I, for what it’s worth, feel the same.
Climate scientists, on the other hand, yeah, they do seem to want to save the world for all us punks and I’m always like just chill bro, put on some Bon Jovi and let’s all go out in a blaze of glory. Haven’t you read the news lately?, world is fukt anyway.
Australian Financial Review apologises for 'World is fukt' front page
Mel, first - I agree with you that conservationists are rather more likely to be hostile to humanity than otherwise. Which is cool! I'm not accusing them of secretly having other motives!
I'm saying they're not being honest with themselves. The state of the planet they're advocating to protect, preserve - really: hold in place, arrest - why do they want to preserve this particular state of nature? There is only one reason. Because it's the state humanity's used to. Familiar. Convenient. Nature has no problem with global freeze or global melt. Neither of these states are bad, not from a standpoint of nature. It is all our culture and tradition and experience of nature that tells us this particular state, with icecaps and temperate zones, with the alternating seasons our poets have spun into so much song - is good.
Conservationists may indeed loathe homo sapiens - some of them do, though re-reading your quote again my dear miss misanthrope I do believe I must differ with you that most regular people don't hoot for humanity's survival! But conservationists, certainly: many of them could give a shit for "humanity's convenience" - as such. But they're kidding themselves if they think there is any other reason they crusade to keep the world in this particular state, other than the fact (or accident) that this is the state humanity came up in, has found familiar, has found convenient. THAT is the state conservationists wish to preserve. Where nature is concerned, "preserve" means simply: arrest.
Which oh, we will do that for them by the way! We will do that for them. They claim humanity influences global climate? They claim humanity impacts global climate? Damn right we do! And that was without even trying. Guess what's next: we try. We succeed. We take our influence - which I believe they told us we definitely do have? Great: now we fine-tune our influence, understanding it, directing it.
We will do EXACTLY what the conservations have been claiming they want. We will arrest nature in the state we like to see it. And the only reason they crusade for that, and the only reason humanity WILL do that, is not because it's natural. Change and flux are natural: global melt and freeze are natural. We will do it because it is familiar, because it is convenient.
And when we succeed in that - what, if you like, will be unnatural.
You know what, I never understood the coastline depicted in that scene. It just didn't seem feasible, the location of the statue relative to the surrounding terrain. I don't picture erosion working that way, but maybe I overthunk it.
I say we keep it that way!
LOYAL!
I can't remember last time I thanked you.