The "Golden Rule": Do Unto Others As You'd Have Them Do Unto You.

Logically, that principle must turn masochists into sadists.

Thought of the day: gallows

Better out of the loop than your head stuck through it.

how much

My wheatgrass smoothie brings the yard to all the boys.

That's right.

It's better than yours.

No charge for the zinc immunity booster!

Tampons Versus Condoms: a Question of Male Dignity and Prestige

Bringing a box of tampons to the register is a far more reliable indicator you're getting regularly laid than a box of condoms would be.

Creative Food Ideas? Try OLD BAY.

DID SOMEONE SAY RAMEN? Let me tell you, I just hot up the ramen in some water with a good pat o' butter and when it's boiling, I dump a shipload of OLD BAY in there, let 'er roil for like another minute, pour out into a colander and strain.

Then, as the noodles steam to the side, I wash my hands, rinse thoroughly, and thrust those still-damp hands DEEP and THROUGH a mixture of flour, cornmeal and again - OLD BAY. I work my hands well through it, then reach those seasoned hands into a big pile of fresh ground beef and grab two HUGE HANDFULS.

After that I sit and watch television for a while. Then I go put the handfuls of seasoned beef outside to set, throw the noodles in the refrigerator crisper and order a pizza. I ask them to put OLD BAY on it.

Easy! The only problem with this recipe is, while the beef pretty much takes care of itself, that crisper is going to be a big pain to clean out later.