This post is a Pt.3. There was also a Pt.1 and a Pt.2
I just read through those parts one and two and had an awful feeling - like I was kicking and making fun of unfortunate people who, for whatever unfortunate circumstance, only have this weak little pastime between them to connect them, to go on, to attempt to hit some kind any kind of rapport! And here I come in all haughty and laughing, justifiably some might argue, at how pathetic they are. It just seemed kind of mean, for a minute or two.
Anyway, that's not really what I mean by it. It's just so irritating to me when these giggling, child-minded, so-called adults leer and wink making huge inflated deals out of distance intimacy. Out of what is, by any clear-eyed standard, nothing more than a little participatory impromptu mutual home-made pornography session. Giggle wow! Knock yourself out - there's nothing wrong with such things! I'm that sure many might class such activities among life's little innocent pleasures.
But the real thing is something else. It is something else entirely.
Sex between two people is - can be - the most huge and intimate and boisterous and celebratory and revelatory and sacramental and elevating and exhausting and carnal and divine and mind-expanding experience that it is possible for a human being on earth to have. When it all comes undone and done in one moment, and I could look into exactly one person's eyes - in a moment after my mind had been just wiped clean, in a moment when every tip of my being was alive with sense and reason - and see myself in her eyes, as - the look in her eyes changed. From something like a generalized, drifting abstract wow, to the returning conscious awareness of love. Reaffirmation. It was as if your soul's polarity can flip in an instant - and I was in those eyes. And she was in mine, I knew, smiling back at herself like a fool. And there is no other way in this life, to feel a truth so true!
To completely know in one moment, the force of how it feels to love just one person more than the entire world.
Have you had that? Can you have that? Would you want that?
The little things are worth so much, but the big things are worth so much more. It's just a shame to cheapen something that can be of such immeasurably great worth. Because make no mistake: and we all know, sex can be every bit as cheap and mean, every bit as little as a greasy glossy magazine crumpled up and shoved in a corner with your own stains in it. Ew, that's gross! But it can though...! - that's what I'm talking about! That is what's at risk!
We live as we wish. And I will not condemn or judge you - but as we live as we wish, we live at our own risk. And life means so much. That's all I'm saying. Life can mean so much - but there is nothing in life, but that you can cheapen it right down to dingiest copper coin.
I'm no prude. Just a steward. I am A Steward of Fuck. A Champion Of Sex, if you will. A defender and an apologist, on behalf of one of the greatest engines for energy and channels for communion that two people together can ever have.
Closeness, is what I am talking about. Not only union, but unity as well. To soulmate? Well, no. Something quite considerably closer to home than than that: to mate.
That two may become one. Intimacy? Oh yes, and then some.
There's nothing even the slightest bit intimate about this distance intimacy biz. If it's not sick, really - still, it is sure not very well. And if distance intimacy is the best you can do? Well, hell. That's a hard row for you. I hope for better for you, fast. I wish you well - my wish for you is that soon, circumstances will change for you (...would it be appropriate for me to wish, "for the two of you?"), and you will be able to make a better go of it. Meanwhile I guess, hang in there together, with whatever pretty-much-pathetic measures come to hand.
So yeah. I hope that clears it up a little, modifies, mollifies. Ameliorates. Apologies if I created a harsher impression at first! All big hard manifesto on the pure sex tip, like I was and am prone to put it. But what are you going to do? Put yourself in my shoes!
See? See?
You've got to admit. I've got a fucking point.
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