Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Confused Super-Hero Concept Pitch #2: The...Wait.

I had a super-hero called the Illuminazi who...!!..!! Oh.

Wait. He was a villain.

Him and the Ku Klux Man used to give all kinds of trouble to Mister Decency and the Values Family. They were the heroes.

Why the fuck the does this all seem backwards now?

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Snippets from the Life of a Rogue Ad Copy Jockey

When life gets you down? GO GATORADE. Gatorade is like the tits on a nuclear squid. You start sucking on that glowing ambrosial nectar, suddenly it turns your whole DNA crazy like you're breathing underwater, staining your bike shorts with black ink and fighting crime. One time, I got thrown out of a top advertising firm for the boldest pitch that I ever had the balls to put over the plate. It went wild, but boy did I turn a few heads on the way out the door as I was escorted by an honor guard of security's best and brightest. When I hit the street, I had a Snickers to recoup my wits and stoke the flames a bit. Packed with peanuts, Snickers Is A Motherfucker®. Thus fortified with that sweet hit of chocolate, caramel and a peanut crunch, I eased on down the road with a heart as heavy as the sky above. It's true, I had suffered a setback. But I didn't actually work for the firm anyway, and technically they hadn't even invited me inside. So I counted it pretty light in the loss column - while each of the heads that I'd managed to turn with my bold presentation was an undeniable win.

I was sure to have better luck at the next firm. My next stop would not even know what hit it.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

You Do Not Deserve Love.

No one deserves love.

No one deserves someone to be with.

This is true, because so very many, many people - very good people - get no love. Get no one to be with. We know this is true. Why do I shout out, claiming how much I deserve?

Did you get the love you deserve?

Do I "deserve" more than you?

I say no one deserves love, but when we are stupendously lucky enough to find love, we can then spend the rest of our lucky lives earning our luck, proving ourselves worthy of that great good chance. We can't deserve love! But each of us is - or can be, or can prove - worthy of it.

If you did get love - for everyone who is lucky enough, to find the person they wished for! - when we have that chance, we need to thank our lucky stars, or God, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster or whoever we wish upon, to thank for that other person - not omitting to thank that other person, hopefully! But the point is: we need to feel grateful, and not entitled, and so spiteful of perceived minor slights. If we've found the person we wished for - not perfect, but a human being who will love as as we are, who we can love as they are - we need to feel grateful.

Because for everyone who finds the love they think they deserve, there are just as many people who are just as much (or more) "deserving" - kind, and generous, and loving, and even FUCKIN' SEXY for god's sake! - who end up with a monster. Or a liar. Or just an ungenerous, selfish, emotionally miserly stone-hearted soul. Or who end up with no one - who search and search and can never find their mated heart, the mind and the arms to welcome them in for what each is sure will be the rest of life!- the "right person" we all feel we deserve! Do we? Can anyone deserve a gift like that.

Few enough of us get it.

It's not fair.


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

"Short story ideas" - an unpublished draft post from Sept. 14, 2009 10:21 PM

lucid dreaming, creation - dreaming into life - woman, conversation / guilt re sentience, discussion (do you know all I know? movies/college-level education, attempts to imbue specifics), wrangling, storage - attempt - success/sleep - awakeness plot (amnesia) - attempt - success (movie) - plot attempt, disappearance? death by happenstance? Authors death by happenstance?

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Sunday God Blog of Inspiration #1: Footprints Vs. Starfish

"Footprints Vs. Starfish"

Jesus and I were walking along the beach. We were walking single file, to conceal our numbers, and there were just tremendous numbers of starfish on the beach, drying out in the hot sun. "Did you multiply these?" I asked. Jesus shrugged. 

We knew the starfish would die if we didn't, so we made a game of seeing how many we could each throw back into the sea. We kept score in this manner: "It matters to this one!" "It matters to this two!" - and so on. Jesus was pulling ahead of me as we went, and he was moving in a mysterious way that I found hard to copy. I said to the Lord, "Lord, why are you wasting your time? You know you can't possibly save them all. There are too many!" 

"Actually, I pretty much can save them all," he said, with a grin as he shaded his sparkling eyes, watching his last one helicoptering out far over the breaking waves. "I'm God."

I laughed at my stupidity. Of course he was right. And on he went, down the beach, moving mysteriously, pitching starfish. As I watched him stoop to save another, I let my last starfish drop from my hand.

The whole thing comforted me for some reason.

Announcement, Re: God

So for a long time I was doing Sunday Theology God Blog posts, not every Sunday but you know, whenever I had some good material that I felt pretty good about. "Good news" as they say! Anyway, I think I'm kind of burnt out on theology per se, and I feel like trying something else.

Those of you who don't know, "theology" is "academia as a form of prayer." Cool stuff! Theology always reminds me of that courtroom scene in Footless where Kevin Bacon starts telling John Lithgow and all the assembled how all different things can be used to pray and praise and give glory to God, even dancing. Or was that A Few Good Men? Anyhow, time for something different.

Theology, take a seat. Today, I inaugurate the first post in a new series/feature! Get ready for the very first (on this blog, anyway) Sunday God Blog Inspiration Post!

False Strength Vs. Everything Else

Why give people power? I've found anyway that when I respond from false strength, false force, it gives the other person power, and ruins mine.

But what is false strength? And where does true strength come from? Hey, it's easy to see and feel that difference.

False strength, false force:

Your own innate strength. Your force of person, personality, self or sinew.

True strength, true force proceeds from -

1. Where your feet are planted. Position, stance.

2. And what's in your hands. Fact, equipment.

When you exert your own innate strength and force absent 1 and 2, everybody sees you for what you are: bully, tyrant, weakling, wrongling. Fair game, and easily destroyed. Two to five right people can topple and punitively rape any sonofabitch weak wrong tyrant bully as required, if only good people combine on common cause.

Which we're increasingly eager to do, versus bullies. So watch yourself! Better yet, check your stance. See where your strength is planted.

Picture yourself with position and stance. Picture yourself with something real in your hands, instead of hysterically overcompensating for "got nothing" - instead of flailing and striking out in the wrong, to prove how strong you are. Instead of putting forth that false strength, picture yourself - equipped, and with stance.

Why, all you'd have to do is stand there, practically. And maybe smile. Or maybe scowl.

Because people see what's real, because it's in their world too - not only in yours. In case you didn't know, that's a definition of reality.

And in that position, equipped with real stance and fact, if you ever had to exert your innate strength - with all of that in your hand, and on your side? People will be going flying.

And they'll get up and dust off, and thank you after. For going so easy on them, when you had all that strength.

Now don't giggle when they say that! They don't need to know where your strength comes from.

Saturday, February 09, 2013

Discussion? What's The Point!

Discussion is not for a purpose to achieve, it is for a purpose to communicate.

You and I are not sitting here, talking, in order to accomplish - some third thing. We sit here talking to accomplish one thing: to hear the other's view, perchance to grasp the other's point. And we sit here talking to accomplish thing two: to put across our own view, or our own question, our own expression. There's no third thing we are "talking for."

Now it is possible that as we talk, we two might suddenly find that we are united, on some flung topic. And if that happens, we may even find that we are seized with fervor! To leap, to run outside! To make! To DO! TOGETHER!

If so, fine, wonderful, but anybody who thinks that is the purpose of talking is a psychopath. Unity is an occasional, often pleasant by-product or coincidence or consequence that comes sometimes, after an exchange of views. It isn't the purpose of exchanging views. The purpose of exchanging views is to say who one is, and hear who another is. Not to work at it until we think or can say we're the same. If we find in the end we're the same, great! Fine. Wonderful! Kind of beside the point, though.

Wouldn't you agree?

Friday, February 08, 2013

Real Believer #6: Sexual Diversity

I'm a real believer in sexual diversity. I mean, who wouldn't be? Sounds great!

Saturday, February 02, 2013

Center Stage

It's a little too center stage, sometimes, to be yourself. I mean, the spotlight is yours, you can hardly avoid it. You can be yourself putting on an act, or you can be yourself making observations of yourself. Or you can be yourself trying to lean forward, past yourself and straight into things without interference. You can be yourself trying to be and act and think and talk how you would if you weren't thinking (and talking, and acting, and being) about it. All of this is just being yourself, how you normally would.

I like to be myself hanging back, and watching me go. What did I just say - that? What am I doing - where did that come from?! HOW did I do that!? Oh my god it worked. Or, hoooooo boy did that not work.

We can't avoid being center stage, each in our own self-directed production. But if you ask me, a good director is not shouting from the wings as the show is trying to go on. Direction is given in rehearsal, not in the act. The director ought to be able to sit back, watch the performance - cringe a bit, maybe! Because directors must be inwardly, more critical than critics. But mostly - just watch, and laugh, and cry. The director can always have a word with the cast at the end of the night, give tips for tomorrow's performance.

"We exist in the moment behind intention." Does that mean behind it, always a step behind and catching up to what we meant? Or does that mean behind, always standing aware behind it, and egging intention on? Well I don't know what you're asking me for. It's got to be one or the other. Go ask yourself which. It's got to be one or the other.

For myself, the intention, whatever it is, races ahead of me. I race after it, to make sure I keep it honest. Sometimes I pounce! Tackle, throttle, dissect it - proved true! So many intentions, proved true and faultless, killed in the process. Exonerated by autopsy - then free to go! Oh. Other times, it seems too innocent to bother with the arrest, the examination. Maybe I've already in my life killed so many intentions that looked just like that one. Let it go free. Saved by profiling. Sometimes the intention doesn't even seem worth following. Let it race on ahead, out of sight! - maybe someday, I'll run into it where it sticks.

The universe is only the point at which you enter into it. You are carried outward on the ripples of the impact you make. Your mind can surf outward, can look back at your self from infinite distances - but you will always be standing right there, at center stage.

Don't worry about it. It's just a stage.